I have held on to a lot of shame and guilt, for many years as I struggled in silence with an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, and an obsessive control over food and my body. The more I engaged in these behaviors, the more shameful I became. I was sad, depressed, frustrated and began isolating myself.
Shame is the lowest vibrational state you can have in the body, so the more shame you feel, the weaker you will become. Waking up the next day, after engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors would leave me feeling so hopeless that I felt like I would never get out of the hole I dug myself in. The more shame and guilt I felt, the worse my behaviors became.
In time, as I became very aware of my behaviors and triggers, and understood that my body was reacting to the restriction I put on it, and that this was a subconscious pattern, I finally began letting go of the guilt and shame I had for these conditioned behaviors. I stopped beating myself up if I messed up the day before and stopped over-exercising to compensate.
Letting go of shame was the first step to recovery. Self-sabotaging thoughts still creep in from time to time, but they no longer have the power they once did. Beating myself up because of these thoughts would only lead me down the path of destruction. Instead, I try to come from a place of compassion, even if I don’t eat perfectly or think perfectly. We are all flawed. We all struggle. There is no such thing as perfection. We can have the best intentions, but we still mess up from time to time. If you’re human, you get it.
Replace shame with more love for yourself. Begin showing up, vibrating higher each time you pick yourself back up, becoming more aware, from an honest and compassionate place.
If you can let go of shame, then you can truly begin to heal.
You are worth it.