A letter to my Daughter on the last day of Maternity Leave…

For the past 16 weeks I have been blessed with being able to be with you 24/7, have nurtured you, kissed you, cuddled you, nursed you, cried with you, laughed with you, watched you grow right before my eyes and together we’ve created an irreplaceable bond. Today I have an overwhelming feeling of sadness, anxiety, and guilt. I don’t know why this is so hard. Maybe because I struggled to have you and now that you’re here, I never want to leave your side. Although I know you’ll be in good hands, you might not want to take a bottle, you might be extra fussy without me to soothe you, you might want me to cuddle you when you’re sleepy, and you might wonder why I’m not there. I hope you know I would give anything to stay home with you forever, but I have to go to work so that I can give you everything you need to be healthy, safe and happy. A home to live in, food to eat, books to read and trips to explore. I want you to know that I will be thinking of you every second, will be missing how you laugh at me like I’m the funniest person in the world, and how you light up when you see me walk into the room. I want you to know I will never take you for granted and the time we do have will be quality and much more meaningful. All of the sleepless nights and overwhelming days when you wouldn’t let me put you down to pee, take a shower or eat have all been messy, but beautiful because at the end of the day you’d look at me with so much love in those big brown eyes and it all was OK. You are the light of my life and I want you to know we’ll get through this together. When I walk in the door at the end of each day, I promise nothing will matter other than the fact that we’re together again.

Mommy loves you so much my sweet Daisy.

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