As an anxious person, I always want to have a plan in place, which makes me feel safe. I worry too much about the future and analyze every possible outcome, sometimes losing sleep.
I’ve become much better at managing my anxiety and in fact, have felt really content, worry-free and at peace this Spring and Summer… until this past week.
The truest test of patience is being 40 weeks pregnant (today is my due date) and having no idea when labor will begin, what my birth will be like, and having no solid plan in place. Because well, you can never plan for natural child birth.
I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far in my pregnancy after having my Son at 38 weeks. I was convinced I’d go early this time too, but as the days go on I realize that this is a different pregnancy, a new experience and another true test of surrender, trust and patience.
Everything I feel and experience is part of the great lesson of motherhood.
I am very anxious, find myself having moments of sadness and negativity, after months of feeling really happy and positive. I am googling every labor symptom, reading birth blogs, and trying to find a glimpse of hope that maybe today I’ll go into labor, because I can relate to someone else’s story and timeline.
But this is MY story and unique pregnancy. It won’t happen the way it happened before or like it happened for any one else.
So how do I ease this anxious feeling?
I surrender.
I breathe (deeply)…a lot.
I listen to positive affirmations for pregnancy and birth.
I sit outside in nature staring at the trees, because these simple moments of stillness remind me that life is a gift and I am extremely blessed.
I enjoy the company of my husband and let him pamper me with extra attention, massage, and kind gestures (because soon it’ll be too chaotic to take advantage of this).
I read the unfinished books I have lying around.
I take time to cook delicious meals.
I write.
This pregnancy has taught me many great lessons which I can take with me and relate to every day life. No matter the circumstance, when anxiety arises…
Surrender.
Trust.
Ask yourself, what lesson is there to be learned from this experience?
XO Peace & Love, Stephanie
